The Power of Listening Before Speaking
Pastor Isaac shared an image this week that has stayed with me. He talked about what happens in the round pen when a trainer works with a young colt for the first time. That horse’s instinct is to turn its backside and run, circling the pen again and again, trying to escape the pressure. But the trainer keeps steady, waiting for the moment when the colt finally stops running and "faces up."
When that horse turns to face the trainer, both eyes are locked in, the ears tune forward, and the tension starts to melt away. In that instant, the trainer drops the pressure, and the colt discovers something powerful: facing up brings rest, peace, and security.
That picture mirrors a truth from James 1:19–20:
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”
Like that young horse, our first instinct when tension rises or when truth hits close to home is to turn away or run. We avoid, defend, or fire back with the perfect comeback we have been rehearsing. But God calls us to stop circling and "face up." To turn toward Him, and toward one another, with both ears open.
Being quick to listen does not come naturally. It means laying down our defenses and giving someone our full, undivided attention. It means valuing understanding over being understood. Listening tells someone, You matter to me, even when we disagree.
Being slow to speak takes just as much discipline. Before we hit "send" on that angry text or unload our frustration, James invites us to pause. To ask, Does this make God angry or just me? Why am I reacting this way? Will my words heal or harm? Sometimes the wisest thing we can do is wait a day, pray, or take a walk before responding. The Holy Spirit does good work in the quiet.
I had a reminder of that recently. I was talking with a couple of friends when I made a comment about another friend. It was not mean-spirited, just something that was not particularly kind or uplifting. The words were barely out of my mouth before I regretted them. It was not anger that got me; it was carelessness. I spoke too quickly. I did not stop to ask myself if my words would build someone up or just fill the silence. I am learning that sometimes the most loving thing I can do is simply not say everything that crosses my mind. To let quiet have its place.
And being slow to become angry might be the hardest of all. Our anger usually rises when something feels out of our control, but James reminds us that human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Some things in this world should make us angry, like injustice or cruelty, but much of what stirs our tempers is far smaller. A puppy chewing on our boots. A child spilling milk. Someone interrupting our plans.
In those moments, it helps to stop and ask:
Is this something that angers God or just inconveniences me?
If it is the latter, maybe it is a chance to let grace take the reins.
This verse from James is more than good advice. It is a prayer worth memorizing:
“God, help me to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.”
Pray it before a hard conversation. Pray it when you feel your frustration building. Pray it when you are tempted to fill the silence with words that do not need to be said. Over time, you will find it shaping how you respond, training your heart much like a good horse learns to trust its rider.
When we "face up" to God and each other, when we stop running circles and turn to truly listen, we find what that horse finds in the round pen: peace. The pressure drops. Trust grows. And our relationships become places of rest instead of conflict.
Pause & Pray
Think back on your week. Were there moments when you spoke too quickly, or times you felt the Spirit nudging you to stay quiet? Ask God to keep training your heart in His way of gentleness.
“God, help me to face up. Help me to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.”
When you choose to listen before you speak, you will find what the colt in the round pen found: peace in the presence of the One who is teaching you to trust.
When that horse turns to face the trainer, both eyes are locked in, the ears tune forward, and the tension starts to melt away. In that instant, the trainer drops the pressure, and the colt discovers something powerful: facing up brings rest, peace, and security.
That picture mirrors a truth from James 1:19–20:
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”
Like that young horse, our first instinct when tension rises or when truth hits close to home is to turn away or run. We avoid, defend, or fire back with the perfect comeback we have been rehearsing. But God calls us to stop circling and "face up." To turn toward Him, and toward one another, with both ears open.
Being quick to listen does not come naturally. It means laying down our defenses and giving someone our full, undivided attention. It means valuing understanding over being understood. Listening tells someone, You matter to me, even when we disagree.
Being slow to speak takes just as much discipline. Before we hit "send" on that angry text or unload our frustration, James invites us to pause. To ask, Does this make God angry or just me? Why am I reacting this way? Will my words heal or harm? Sometimes the wisest thing we can do is wait a day, pray, or take a walk before responding. The Holy Spirit does good work in the quiet.
I had a reminder of that recently. I was talking with a couple of friends when I made a comment about another friend. It was not mean-spirited, just something that was not particularly kind or uplifting. The words were barely out of my mouth before I regretted them. It was not anger that got me; it was carelessness. I spoke too quickly. I did not stop to ask myself if my words would build someone up or just fill the silence. I am learning that sometimes the most loving thing I can do is simply not say everything that crosses my mind. To let quiet have its place.
And being slow to become angry might be the hardest of all. Our anger usually rises when something feels out of our control, but James reminds us that human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Some things in this world should make us angry, like injustice or cruelty, but much of what stirs our tempers is far smaller. A puppy chewing on our boots. A child spilling milk. Someone interrupting our plans.
In those moments, it helps to stop and ask:
Is this something that angers God or just inconveniences me?
If it is the latter, maybe it is a chance to let grace take the reins.
This verse from James is more than good advice. It is a prayer worth memorizing:
“God, help me to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.”
Pray it before a hard conversation. Pray it when you feel your frustration building. Pray it when you are tempted to fill the silence with words that do not need to be said. Over time, you will find it shaping how you respond, training your heart much like a good horse learns to trust its rider.
When we "face up" to God and each other, when we stop running circles and turn to truly listen, we find what that horse finds in the round pen: peace. The pressure drops. Trust grows. And our relationships become places of rest instead of conflict.
Pause & Pray
Think back on your week. Were there moments when you spoke too quickly, or times you felt the Spirit nudging you to stay quiet? Ask God to keep training your heart in His way of gentleness.
“God, help me to face up. Help me to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.”
When you choose to listen before you speak, you will find what the colt in the round pen found: peace in the presence of the One who is teaching you to trust.
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